Post by hawaii bill on Feb 22, 2011 22:33:29 GMT -5
In a stunning development today, it was revealed that Killian, the Iona College mascot, was hired by Seton Hall to replace the Seton Hall Pirate. This news comes on the heels of the announcement earlier today that Seton Hall hired Iona's Athletic Director Patrick Lyons. Seton Hall has now lured away Iona's men's basketball head coach, his assistants, including his lead recruiter, a ball boy, a rack of basketballs, a blackboard and some chalk, the Athletic Director and the mascot in the space of one year. Representatives of Seton Hall had also been spotted inspecting the Iona team bus, only to learn that it is leased.
When reached for comment Killian said "I love Iona, that's why I'm leaving." "I grew up here as a mascot, but its time to move on. Besides, I can't get a beer at the Hynes Center." Killian cited the need to spar with a higher quality of mascot in the Big East Conference. "Look, they have the Huskey at UConn, the Cardinal at Louisville, the Wildcat at Villanova. I have to see what I've got against that kind of competition. Sure, I'll miss the Stag, and whatever that thing is that Canisuis has. And I'll always remember Iowa, I mean Iona."
A spokesman for Seton Hall stated that the Pirate was just no longer getting it done. "We like Killian's youth, his energy, and what he's done taking the Iona mascot to a high level. We expect he'll wear his maroon suit, but with a pirate hat. Kind of a maurading pirate/gael." "We also feel that he'll make our entire men's basketball department feel at home."
When asked why a Catholic institution of higher learning would continue to prey upon another Catholic institution's athletic department, the spokesman replied, "We felt it was our moral duty to liberate these poor souls from the MAAC conference. And we want to make a boatload of cash."
When reached for comment Killian said "I love Iona, that's why I'm leaving." "I grew up here as a mascot, but its time to move on. Besides, I can't get a beer at the Hynes Center." Killian cited the need to spar with a higher quality of mascot in the Big East Conference. "Look, they have the Huskey at UConn, the Cardinal at Louisville, the Wildcat at Villanova. I have to see what I've got against that kind of competition. Sure, I'll miss the Stag, and whatever that thing is that Canisuis has. And I'll always remember Iowa, I mean Iona."
A spokesman for Seton Hall stated that the Pirate was just no longer getting it done. "We like Killian's youth, his energy, and what he's done taking the Iona mascot to a high level. We expect he'll wear his maroon suit, but with a pirate hat. Kind of a maurading pirate/gael." "We also feel that he'll make our entire men's basketball department feel at home."
When asked why a Catholic institution of higher learning would continue to prey upon another Catholic institution's athletic department, the spokesman replied, "We felt it was our moral duty to liberate these poor souls from the MAAC conference. And we want to make a boatload of cash."